Session:Madame Tubercula's House of Pain

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Description Join Madame Tubercula for a remedy for a pulled muscle, an arthritic knee, or "It's not what it looks like, I swear I did this soldering."
Website(s)
Type Hands-On
Kids session No
Keyword(s)
Tags Village:Narwhal, physical therapy
Processing village Village:Narwhal
Person organizing
Language en - English
en - English
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Duration 120 minutes
Location Village:Narwhal

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Location Village:Narwhal

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The spitzerStock

Born in a somewhat-fictitious East German country in the middle of what would come to be known as the "Zwischenfall mit Bierkäsesuppe," the young Mycobia knew at once she wanted to specialize in the art of baking. "To be a baker is the highest purpose to which anyone can devote themselves," she once said; "balancing butter, flour, and sugar to create confectionary is humanity's greatest achievement."

She was six when she said that, however, so once she found sex, drugs, alcohol, rock music, and something she describes only as "the spitzerStock," she decided that angry muscle relaxing was more her thing. Join Madame Tubercula for a remedy for a pulled muscle, an arthritic knee, or "It's not what it looks like, I swear I did this soldering." While Madame Tubercula is not (for legal reasons, moral reasons, and in one unimportant country, warrant reasons) a "medical doctor," she is board-certified [1] and wears a white coat [2], so we trust her. She's armed with an array of muscle relaxants from the foam roller and lacrosse ball to the aforementioned spitzerStock, so you'll figure out what works for your pain needs and maybe learn a thing or two.

Available during advertised hours only, but accepts bribes to advertise additional hours.

[1]: In this case the certification was that she was holding a board and had a mean look in her eye.

[2]: As far as we can tell, it was stolen from an Elvis impersonator.